Research Essay – Post-Assignment 3

Following my tutors feedback from my first essay draft, I have decided to renew parts of my draft.  There are several areas he himself highlighted and a few of my own which I would like to tackle.

Going through his feedback, I noted the following as important points, both from my own reflection and tutors comments:

  • Further balance needed between my points; the reasons why people “make”, what drives them to do so.
  • Careful to bring in financial contexts; this is too personal to be defined on a “one size fits all” level.
  • Change title as the word “sustainable” can be taken two ways and thus could be seen as a confusing factor.
  • Look at the individuals approach rather than a comparison of artistic sincerity.  How and why they do it in their own particular way.
  • Measuring “success” is a tricky field to cover; thus leave this out?
  • Make introduction questions clearer.  In line with this introduction cover the following 1.  Why I have chosen these artists:  Highlights of who they are, similarities and differences between them and what makes them a good case study.  2.  Why these artists make and exhibit in their different ways.
  • Directly contact the artists, so that assumptions are not made.
  • Be carful to tone down my sometimes judgemental use of prose.
  • What are the most important values to the artists/designers who I am using?
  • Can todays social media stage be used by the artists?  If so how?  Could this be seen as an art form itself?
  • More analysis of reviews to back up the text.  Fuller quotes looking at the way other people answer my questions is important to convey the depth of my research.
  • Should I leave out the “fine art” parts of my essay, in order to give better focus on one thing rather than too many which I may not cover properly?


I will now think about redrafting my essay, taking the above on board.


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